When Grief Rules

I am a technosaur. My pea-sized brain lost my log-in information so I have not been able to share my thoughts. Now begins a new era of blogging.

I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, but I have not walked it alone. Beginning last September (see previous blogs) I mourned the death of my mother, then my favorite uncle, the finance chair of the church (who I "adopted" as a younger brother), a member of our youth group who died at his own hands, and my spiritual mentor.

Needless to say, it has been a long year. However, I have felt God's presence at every turn. How do people without faith handle this kind of grief? I can't imagine. My grief was assuaged by my confidence in the promises of God.

Death is neither the ultimate illness nor the end of life. It is merely a transformation into what is ours to become. Christ has won victory over death (Romans 8). I have chosen to be on the winning side. I thank those who have died in the arms of the Lord, for they have given me the best present ever: release from grief.

Judging Cities

This is my first post on my renewal leave. We will leave Humboldt after church today. Inevitably one compares one's own town with the town one visits. Here is what I have found. Every town has great things that make it a great town; and every town has significant problems they would love to solve. That makes us all even.

What makes a special town in which to live? The home you in which you live and the people with whom you choose to surround yourself. We have stayed in a beautiful home with beautiful people who have surrounded themselves with other beautiful people. The quality of life is in the satisfaction one has with oneself and with one's relationships.

Christianity is all about relationships. The great command says love God with all your heart, mind and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself. We have a relationship with One who gave his life that we might know we are unconditionally loved. That allows us (if we let it) to have a healthy satisfaction with ourselves (in the midst of understanding our own weaknesses) so that we can surround ourselves with great relationships with others.

"In my father's house are many rooms. I go there to prepare a place for you." Now that is a great place to live!

The Best Death Ever

A recommended funeral prayer in the United Methodist Hymnal includes the phrase, “Help us to live as those who are prepared to die. And when our days here are accomplished, enable us to die as those who go forth to live.” I have offered that prayer on numerous occasions. I believe that phrase defines a basic core of the Christian faith. We do not believe that death is an end, but that death is a transitional point to a new and better life.

That being the case, I believe my mother had the best death ever. Yes, that may appear to be morbid, callous, or inappropriate, but I can’t imagine someone dying a better death than Carol Schuhmacher. Let me explain.

Suffering from COPD for almost 20 years, my mother knew her death was coming. That allowed her to prepare and comfort. Her slow decline allowed her to pre-plan and pre-pay her funeral. She had time to make sure there was no debt owed to anyone. She had time to personally bless each of her family individually. She took it further by doing the best she could to bless as many people as she could on her way to the glorious light of death.

Most importantly, Carol prepared herself spiritually. She never “had it out” with God. Instead she used her last years of life to grow more intimate with her Lord and Savior, Jesus. She read her Scriptures voraciously. She took notes. She asked questions with wonder and awe, not with fear and trembling. She lived out the apostle Paul’s exhortation to pray without ceasing.

She left her family a fortune. Her fortune was not monetary, but spiritual. She knew where she was going and she was looking forward to it. She had the blessed assurance that God’s promises all came true through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. She made sure all her progeny knew where she was going.

Family and friends surrounded her in her last three days. My mind’s eye sees snapshots. The twinkle in her eye as she told one last joke in front of her bridge partners. Lori quietly singing the songs Carol selected for her to sing at the memorial service. My daughter Cora, alone in a chair, quietly praying through her grief. The look of appreciation as Caleb’s father, a baritone for the San Francisco Metropolitan Opera, sang Ave Maria to her on her last day.

As her family and friends mourn her loss we are comforted. Within our grief is a peace that passes understanding. A peace promised by Jesus and lived out through the life, death, and resurrection of Carol Schuhmacher. My mother’s faith in Jesus Christ allowed her the best death ever; a death available to all of us who truly believe.

Oma/Carol/Mrs. Schuh update. Late last night I sang hymns and read psalms to her. It relaxed her a whole bunch. This a.m. she saw light and the "beautiful man" on the other side of the window. Later she smiled broadly saying "you want me to come?" Then a loud "I love You!" What a special, full-box-of-kleenex, mom...ent. All our prayers are being answered!

Update on Carol/Oma/Mrs. Schuh: She continues to decline rapidly. Non-responsive most of the time. Hard breathing and mild heart attacks. Probably will be released to the Lord today or tomorrow. Praise God for the blessing of hope and the assurance of salvation. Thanks for all of your kind words.

Carol Schuhmacher, my mother, has entered the final stages of her life. Her body has started the dying process and is deteriorating at a rapid rate. Best guess from hospice is two weeks to two months. After examination today they think it is closer to two weeks. Please join me in thanking God for her life and releasing her from her body of pain.

Hitting the Deck

I can actually see the end in sight. Tearing out our old deck and putting in a new one has certainly tried and tested me. Without the help of top-notch deck designer/builder Kevin T. I would never have been able to attempt this project. Nick and David D. have also been wonderful.

This weekend I am putting the floor of the deck on. Roughly 832 screws for just the flooring. I can't imagine the Amish concept of a barn raising. Building a barn in a day our two? They must be logistical masters!

I am getting tired of all the rebuilding. I wonder if God ever gets tired of rebuilding me. I warp and get out of square. I constantly need repair and I am sure God wants to replace a few of my habits with new ones.

Good thing God has more patience than I.